The Presence of Suffering

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One way in which our mind can bring suffering into our experience can be through the internal demands and expectations that we have about ourselves and our lives. In our humanity, we may expect and demand that life be a particular way for us and meets these needs from a self, an ego that in a sense may demand this from us.
Adyashanti speaks of this when he writes ” I want this,”I want that, I don’t want this, I don’t want that, you should be like this, you shouldn’t have done that to me, I shouldn’t feel that way.”
In a sense I feel this is how the mind creates a ”self” that can manipulate reality. An ”unclaimed” self that lives in terror of losing control, losing control of ourselves, our very life, and in which cannot accept the basic fundamental and painful reality; that we are not in control, and we haver never been. Reality and life happen, unfolding as it does. Our thinking and thought processing, in this can create untold internal suffering for us. The mind assets itself as separate, existing somehow divided apart from us, unconnected to the great web of all that surrounds us, and in this fear of separation compartmentalizes the separate and unconnected illusion of who we think and believe ourselves to be. The minds tendency is to compartmentalize and control the ambiguous- the chaotic- and in this ultimately illusory sense of control it feels an inner security and safety is in it’s own self protective internal logic.
This is not to say that the mind does not have it’s own place within the makeup of a functioning personality as I believe it certainly does. Rather the mind, I feel, must come into the the presence and wisdom of the heart and needs to be brought toward the awareness of this ” still centre” thus becoming embraced through  the tender compassion of the this great teacher and wise presence within.

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About miriangelwings

As a person living with much internal paradox in mental illness whilst also a deep calling to the contemplative life, I feel called to begin this blog as a means of putting words to some of the internal dichotomies that I daily live with as I live out these two realities and as I move further towards the contemplative life as a lay monastic.

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